I’m so torn into pieces once again.
It’s funny because no matter how many times I go through break-ups, the feeling is just the same: numbness, disbelief. Yeah, my world felt like it fell apart again when he finally said it’s over between us.
He has the same reason with my ex-boyfriends. The "It’s not you, it’s me" – line. The old-overused line. I think he’s right though. I’ve been a good girlfriend. He said he just can’t give me the love that I deserve. Sigh. I wanted to believe that the night he ended our relationship was just a bad dream. When I woke up the next day, I realized the break up was real.
Everything just happened so fast. I didn’t want us to end just yet. I told him that but he already made up his mind. Maybe it really was for the better. It’s just hard for me to accept it. There’s just so much love that I am willing to give to him. I guess he doesn’t need it. He’s got his family. He’s already full of love. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t need mine.
I still feel like crying whenever I think about him. I’m even drowning myself in misery by staying in my room, with the lights off and just think about him for hours until I get tired of crying. I know I shouldn’t be doing that. I think it’s my way of moving on? :D Weird, isn’t it? Because when I’m done crying, I know I’m strong enough again to face the world. I’ll be strong enough to face him again. I hope.