Torn Into Pieces... Again! :(

I’m so torn into pieces once again.

It’s funny because no matter how many times I go through break-ups, the feeling is just the same: numbness, disbelief. Yeah, my world felt like it fell apart again when he finally said it’s over between us.

He has the same reason with my ex-boyfriends. The "It’s not you, it’s me" – line. The old-overused line. I think he’s right though. I’ve been a good girlfriend. He said he just can’t give me the love that I deserve. Sigh. I wanted to believe that the night he ended our relationship was just a bad dream. When I woke up the next day, I realized the break up was real.

Everything just happened so fast. I didn’t want us to end just yet. I told him that but he already made up his mind. Maybe it really was for the better. It’s just hard for me to accept it. There’s just so much love that I am willing to give to him. I guess he doesn’t need it. He’s got his family. He’s already full of love. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t need mine.

I still feel like crying whenever I think about him. I’m even drowning myself in misery by staying in my room, with the lights off and just think about him for hours until I get tired of crying. I know I shouldn’t be doing that. I think it’s my way of moving on? :D Weird, isn’t it? Because when I’m done crying, I know I’m strong enough again to face the world. I’ll be strong enough to face him again. I hope.

Go For Career Advancement!

I just fill out a personal assessment form here at work few minutes ago. I felt exhausted when I was done with it. Of course, it's like filling up a resume that I still have to sell myself to my bosses. That I did a great job while I was in my probational period. Hopefully it will help me become a regular employee.

I remember just last week, there was a cascaded email to everybody about a higher job position. I wasn't interested right away because I'm not yet qualified. I wonder if the workload is like Case Management Manager Jobs which gives the lucky one higher salary. How would I know when I've already deleted the email when I got it. I didn't even care to read the attachment.

If ever I'll stay longer here at Emerson, I might try my luck on higher positions that's going to be offered to us. Who knows I'll get lucky enough and get the career advancement that I so want to achieve!

Well, it's a long way ahead though. I can wait and do my best at my present job!

Pushing Friends Away? :(

I’ve been a pain in the a$$ to my friend, Irene, these past couple of days. Something just pissed me off on Monday afternoon which is not about her but it was because of somebody else or maybe it was just me and my wrong assumptions. I was really hot-headed that day that when something went not according to how I wanted things to happen, I ended up crying in my room and did not attend to the activity that Irene and I were supposed to take care of. I left it all to her which I feel guilty about when I came to my senses yesterday.

This is what happens when I worry too much. My Mom was sick on Monday. My brother brought her to the hospital so she can take a rest because she doesn’t give herself time to rest when she’s at home. At the same time, I worry about being broke during holiday season and I feel bad about not being able to see my folks on New Year’s Eve.

I’m such a mellow-dramatic fool. I just hope that Irene won’t get mad at me for what happened. I keep pushing people away when in fact these friends of mine are like family to me now. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I hope they’d still forgive me for acting strange and stubborn lately. I have disappointed her and some of our friends. I hope I can still make it up to them.

Weekend Grace! :D

A bag full of goodies, a bar of chocolate, a ball of ham and a 200-peso worth of Starbucks gift certs! What a great way to end my week! Thanks Emerson, for the gracious give-aways!

Now, how am I going to carry all of these back home? LOL!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Gaining Weight And Not Liking It

Gosh! I am really gaining weight and I don’t like it! Sigh! If I can just stay slim without having to do exercises and eat without hesitation. Life would just be too easy that way, wouldn’t it? LOL!

I ate a lot of food on my shift last night. I bought a rice-in-a-box meal to fill my hunger before the start of my shift last night. Later did I know that my bosses ordered a boxed meal from Shakey’s and also prepared Starbucks coffee for each one of us. I already ate some of the food in the box and still thinking if I will have to eat the remaining pizza and spaghetti or give it away. What a dilemma! :D

I still have a lot of things to accomplish today. I hope I could still get enough sleep when I get home.

One more day and it’s weekend again! It’s amazing how time flies by. I hope we will have a great Friday and a fun weekend!

Take care ya’ll! :D

Where To Spend My New Year's Eve?

Holidays are coming but I still don’t know how I’m going to spend it. I won’t be home for Christmas or New Year ’s Eve because I don’t have enough money to spend for my plane ride home. It would be very expensive especially this time of the year.

I miss my folks back in the province though. This is not the first time that I won’t be spending the upcoming holidays with them but I really feel that it’s important to be with the family during this season. Sigh.

I miss hearing my Mom’s voice even if it’s irritating sometimes. I miss my favorite sweet Aunts - Tita Rose and Tita Almeda and my cousins. I miss hearing them laugh and chat loudly with each other even if it gets annoying sometimes. LOL! I miss my brothers whom I sneak off and puff cigars with without letting our Mom know and talk about our lives for a little while. Ah! Even if we don’t stand each other most of the time, family is still family, you know.

I know I’m getting mellow-dramatic again. I just haven’t seen them for a while now. How I wish I’m a rich girl who can afford to go home anytime I want.

Anyway, my boyfriend already invited me to spend the New Year’s Eve with his family. I’m thinking twice about going though. I’m friends with his family and I’m okay with them, I guess. Just thinking about it makes me feel anxious already because it’s going to be my first time to spend the New Year’s Eve with a boyfriend and his family.

Nah! I am yet to make up my mind. :)

The Hair That Looked The Same To Him

I spent more than 4 hours in a salon yesterday to have my hair done. I was with my friend, Irene. I just realize Irene and I do a lot of things together in the past few months. We get along pretty well and sort of become like sisters. :D Irene is a really good friend. And she’s really fun to be with that’s why I opt to spend a lot of time with her. Our friendship actually began when we got acquainted at Church. It was when I asked her to help me out on some Church duties. And then we clicked! Well, I’ll make a separate post about our friendship sometime soon.

Back to having my hair-done. I am really not patient in salons. Good thing I was with Irene. We didn’t get bored while waiting for hours to get our hair Rebonded. Like the usual, we had a lot to talk about to kill the time. Too bad I didn’t bring my digital camera with me and we also didn’t think about taking before-and-after pictures of ourselves anyway.

I still have long hair. I thought about having it styled but the stylist who handled my hair convinced me to retain my long straight hair. As for me, as long as it doesn’t look dry and damaged anymore, I’m okay with it.
Just like I thought, my unsupportive- child-boyfriend didn’t realize I had my hair done when he saw me last night. When he knew about, he said it looked all the same to him. Or maybe he’s just not that appreciative. I’ll forgive him still. :D

When I got in the office, my colleagues didn’t notice my newly-Rebonded hair, either. Maybe my boyfriend is right. My hair, because of the length, just looked the same as before. I’ll better think of a nice style on my next visit to the salon 2 or 3 months from now.

Meanwhile, I’ll enjoy my crowning glory, my long straight hair! :D

U-Save For A Convenient Travel

Vacation plus travel to a beautiful place with family or friends is indeed a great plan for the upcoming holiday season. It’s a nice treat for everyone before the year 2011 ends.

If you plan to spend the trip with your family, it needs to be well thought about, especially if you have never been in that place that you want to spend your relaxing vacation at. It’s better to learn about the place first while planning to enjoy a hassle-free vacay.

There are now different ways to do your research about a particular place that you want to go for a vacation. It’s either you talk to friends who’d been there and ask for good tips from them. Or better yet, do the research yourself via the internet. Not only should you check out the best tourist spots, you should also consider checking out how you and your family or friends could go around the city, hassle-free. Commuting may be a nice venue for adventure but you will be wasting a lot of time trying to locate destinations. It would be best to rent a car to save you and your family more time to go around the city. Not only it is convenient, it’s also safe and economical.

Usave.com offers this kind of discount car rental and their service is available in many locations worldwide. They have been in the car rental business for years now and they offer variety of insurance package upon reservation online. They will provide the car rental that will suite your travel needs. Be it an airport car rental, a van or a mini-van that will accommodate you and your family or friends during your stay in the city. U-Save definitely will meet all your car rental needs at a discounted rate. It is an easy way for convenient travel, isn’t it?