A Better Me On 2012

It may seem that I ended my year broken hearted because of my previous post but don’t worry guys, I’m fine and feeling much better. Kido and I agreed to stay as friends and enjoy our company with each other until he figures out what he really wanted. Like I said in the previous post, he needed time to grow up. I just don’t think I can wait long enough. I got to be honest, I’m still hoping but I know myself better. I’ll just wait until I get tired which I know will not take much longer.

Anyway, I want to start a happy post this year. Let me tell you that I had fun spending time with Kido’s family on New Year’s Eve. I know it's funny. Yeah, I was there! :D I love his family. And I feel very much part of it already. Kido and I still looked like we’re a couple. His family didn’t have any idea that we’re not together anymore. I don’t know how they will feel if they’d know about what happened between us. I’ll leave it all to Kido. It wasn’t I who broke it off anyway.

Although I’m hoping that we’re going to be together again, I also have my own plans in case it will not happen anymore. I can make a new beginning – a much stronger me. I won’t look for somebody new after Kido. I’ll give myself another chance to enjoy being single again and make future plans without someone else. I’m used to this anyway. I’ve been independent for years. So I know that I’ll survive this heartbreak. :)

This year, I’m hoping to be happier. Even if I have to live alone again. I hope there will be better opportunities for me. I’ll focus on my career and my Church obligations and just enjoy life. I might go home to the province twice this year. I miss my family.

This year should be a new beginning for me. It's gonna be a better me on 2012! To find someone to love? I think I better wait until I’m ready.

Happy New Year guys!

Torn Into Pieces... Again! :(

I’m so torn into pieces once again.

It’s funny because no matter how many times I go through break-ups, the feeling is just the same: numbness, disbelief. Yeah, my world felt like it fell apart again when he finally said it’s over between us.

He has the same reason with my ex-boyfriends. The "It’s not you, it’s me" – line. The old-overused line. I think he’s right though. I’ve been a good girlfriend. He said he just can’t give me the love that I deserve. Sigh. I wanted to believe that the night he ended our relationship was just a bad dream. When I woke up the next day, I realized the break up was real.

Everything just happened so fast. I didn’t want us to end just yet. I told him that but he already made up his mind. Maybe it really was for the better. It’s just hard for me to accept it. There’s just so much love that I am willing to give to him. I guess he doesn’t need it. He’s got his family. He’s already full of love. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t need mine.

I still feel like crying whenever I think about him. I’m even drowning myself in misery by staying in my room, with the lights off and just think about him for hours until I get tired of crying. I know I shouldn’t be doing that. I think it’s my way of moving on? :D Weird, isn’t it? Because when I’m done crying, I know I’m strong enough again to face the world. I’ll be strong enough to face him again. I hope.

Waiting For Mr. Right...

I feel lonely tonight. I'm missing somebody. I don't even know if that somebody misses me. I'm being pathetic again. Sigh. I have to suppress this feelings because I know I'd end up unhappy. I don't know why but it seems like being in a relationship doesn't work for me. It makes my life complicated. That's why as much as possible, I don't want to get involved with someone. It's just this vulnerable heart that keeps getting me in trouble.

I hope I'll just forget about everything that has been said and done. It's not the right time for us. I have to just move on and keep myself busy.

I hope I'd get a callback from the company I applied for last week. So that I can keep my mind off from whoever makes me sleepless lately. I need to move on and make myself productive.

I'll go back to working out beginning tomorrow. I haven't visited the gym for a month now. I need to get back in shape because who knows? I'd come across Mr. Right someday. Sigh! How come he hasn't arrived yet??? :(

First Love Never Die (Friends' Love Story)

I met a couple back in high school who has a very nice love story. They were each other's first love. We were on our sophomore year when these couple fell in love. It was such a young love and was kept from the girl's dad because her dad doesn't want her to get involved in such a relationship at a very young age. It was funny because back then I was one of the few people who somehow helped them make their relationship work. There were exchanges of love letters which I delivered to them. That included flowers and other unique valentines day gifts too! They just don't get tired of exchanging love notes up until now! They're so vocal that they let the world know how much love they have for one another. They're not even ashamed to post love messages on their Facebook wall which a lot of people like myself get envious about! :D

They haven't married yet. The guy has to work abroad and the girl is in med school right now. They are working very hard for their future. In fact, they're together now for about 14 years! Can you believe that? I was surprised when I finally was able to get in touch with them that after all these years, they're still together! I hope they will tie the knot soon. If that will happen, I'll finally believe that first love never dies! :D

A Friend's Status On FB Hoaxed... :D

A good friend of mine, Den2x, updated her status on Facebook. She posted she's already married. I was the first one who made a comment about her status. I was really surprised! We haven't communicated in a few months and all of a sudden she's married. And she was just in a relationship with the guy for just a few months. It's just hard for me to believe she tied the knot. So I texted her on her cellphone and got relieved when I find out that the post was a hoaxed. It was intended to be a joke but then a lot of people already seen her status and already congratulated her! LOL! The joke is on her now!

We talked more about her love-life. I can sense that she's really happy. I'm happy for her too. She deserves someone who'll truly love her because she deserves it. She's a good a person and a really good friend. I'm looking forward to seeing her in December and know more about her new man. I warned her about weight. I've seen her recent photos with her boyfriend and she really gained weight. All of a sudden we talked about weight loss. I advised her to go to the gym or read lipofuze reviews to motivate herself into loosing weight. She has to look good in case she really will tie the knot!

I'm happy to be able catch up with my friend's life. I'm happy that Den2x has finally met someone who makes her happy! :D

Talking About My Status...:D

I seem to be surrounded with people who are in love. My cousin Michelle is getting married before the end of this year, Lainy, who's also a dear cousin of mine is now engaged to Kuya Scotty, a colleague showed everyone at work her engagement ring a few days ago.

I am of course happy for them. I know that it is what they wanted in life. To be married to the man they love.

It sometimes make me think about myself. Will I ever get a marriage proposal from someone I love? And then wear some loose diamonds or just a simple ring will actually do. LOL! Honestly, I ask myself that question sometimes. I'm not getting any younger and I don't even have a boyfriend. Not that I worry about it that much. I don't really have the time to even look at a man lately. I am so preoccupied. :D

Some people think that I'm maybe too choosy about men. Well, maybe yes. With my past relationships with the opposite sex, after all the heartaches that I have been through, I will be more than willing to protect my heart from breaking into pieces again. I'm not really looking for a perfect guy. I just want someone who will treat me right.

Nah! I'm just being mellow dramatic right now. I'm not in a hurry into involving with someone right now. I haven't really asked God for Mr. Right yet. I'm just not ready.:D